Calling an emotion “good” or “bad” doesn’t give us a lot of information as to why someone is feeling this way, and it becomes especially hard to be helpful. Different coping strategies and support work for different emotions and so it’s important to be specific about emotions. We want to name them and include nuance.

One way to improve repair in relationships when you’ve done something that hurts someone else is to use correction-overcorrection. This can also be helpful if you are struggling with feelings of shame, guilt, and regret for having done something that negatively impacted someone else.

Urge surfing is a technique that can help you manage unwanted behaviour by learning to ride it out, like a surfer riding a big wave safely to shore.

Being able to fully experience moments of pleasantness, happiness, and joy is not always a straightforward and easy task. In the short-term, it can feel easier to avoid feeling good in order to not experience feelings of loss or disappointment.

Let’s back up a bit and start with the why of self-care. Why do we do it? Why is it necessary? We do it to evoke agency, to connect with ourselves, to check in with ourselves and to not only use it as a preventative tool, but also to sustain us. When we practice self-care and prioritize ourselves, we can begin to feel our best and function at our best.

Given that there are many folks who have been working at home due to covid-19, this won’t necessarily be news that’s hot off the press, but maybe you are looking for ways to revamp your approach.

Comparisons are something that we do all the time and I do think there’s a time and place for it. They can have their benefits when it comes to determining the value of something because we generally don’t make decisions in a vacuum. Comparisons with others can also give us ideas about what’s important to us and can feel motivating to know that other people were able to achieve what we want.

This idea of becoming a better person (whatever that means) involves the idea that there is something happening right now within ourselves that we need to escape from. Pema Chödrön calls this an act of “subtle aggression” against ourselves.

I recently attended a workshop on the topic of Matrescence held by Cayley Benjamin, a Motherhood Coach. She explains Matrescence as “the profound transformation – physical, psychological, social, economic and existential – that a mother experiences as they become a mom and journey through motherhood”

Silence in therapy can be just as rewarding for both the therapist and client. At first, silence in the therapy session seems unnatural, whether the conversation takes place virtually or in person. We are not accustomed to silence when speaking with people.

Shame is a deep-rooted belief hidden in the parts of your subconscious and it can become a roadblock in building more profound and meaningful relationships with your partners.

Ironic process theory refers to the process by which suppressing thoughts (e.g., intrusive thoughts, anxious thoughts, urges to drink) can lead to such thoughts emerging with vengeance. This theory posits that there are two cognitive processes at play here.

I went back and forth between trying to throw my attention back onto the stage and going through my to-do list for the rest of the week, along with my dinner plans for the evening (in case you were wondering, I ended up having a nice plate of pasta). I was torn between two modes of being : Being and Doing modes.